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Featured Article

self-love

/ˈˌself ˈləv/

noun

regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

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With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, let’s put focus on your most important relationship – the relationship you have with yourself.  There’s truth to that old saying, “You can’t love someone, until you learn to love yourself first.”  For some people self-love comes easily, but for many it’s difficult.  Many people view self-love as being selfish, self-absorbed, or self-pity; a reminder of all those other bad “self” terms.  Why is loving yourself so important?

Self-love is important to your well-being. It promotes self-compassion, allowing you to forgive your mistakes, it helps to cope with stress and problems in your life; self-love allows you to be more accepting of your weaknesses as well as your strengths.  Why is it difficult to love yourself?

Becoming your worst critic, for many, can start as far back as childhood. Growing up hearing negative talk about your abilities and self-worth.  For others it can start later in life, when they leave the comfort of their home to tackle the harsh world ahead, where your judged and where we learn to judge ourselves. Eventually the self-criticism will set in, slowly chipping away at your self-esteem.  Constant self-criticism can make it difficult for anyone to love themselves, especially if you’re so focused on the negative.

*Feeling worthy requires you to see yourself with fresh eyes of self-awareness and love.  Acceptance and love must come from within. Loving yourself isn’t a one-time deal, it’s an ongoing process that begins with you.  Enfold yourself in affection and appreciation, read these tips to discovering your self-worth:

1.      Begin your day with love (not technology).

·        Remind yourself of your worthiness before getting out of bed. Take time to meditate and journal – begin with five minutes of meditation and five minutes of journaling.  Gradually increase this time.

2.      Focus on the positive.

·        Go to your heart and dwell on and praise yourself for what you get right in all areas. Use affirmations to train your mind to becoming more positive.

3.      Become willing to surrender.

·        Breathe, relax, and let go. You can never see the whole picture. Stop fighting against yourself by thinking and desiring people and events in your life should be different.

4.      Get emotionally honest.

·        Let go of numbing your feelings – shopping, eating, and drinking are examples of avoiding discomfort like sadness and pain. Mindfully breathe your way through your feelings and emotions.

5.      Forgive yourself.

·        Learn from your mistakes and move forward. Use this affirmation, “I forgive myself for judging myself for __________________ (fill in the blank i.e.: for getting sick, for acting out, for not doing my best.)

6.      Discover the power of fun.

·        Self-love requires time to relax, play and create face-to-face interaction with others. Our fast-paced world creates a goal-setting, competitive craziness that doesn’t leave room for play.

7.      Enjoy life enhancing activities.

·        Find exercise you’ll enjoy. Discover healthy foods. Turn off technology and spend time doing things that make you feel alive.

8.      Own your potential.

·        Love yourself enough to believe in the limitless opportunities available to you. Take action and create a beautiful life for yourself.

9.      Live in appreciation.

·        Train your mind to be grateful. Appreciate your talents, beauty, and brilliance. Love your imperfectly perfect self.

10.   Be patient with yourself.

·        Let go of urgency and fear. Relax and transform striving into thriving. Trust in yourself, do good work, and you will see results.

(*Reference: www.tinybuddha.com)

You have the right to an awesome life!

Life satisfaction, increased happiness, and greater resilience – these are all benefits of practicing self-love. It is important to your well-being. Reach out to family, friends, whoever you need to help you through the tough times. Therapy can also provide a space where you feel safe and accepted. Call EAS at 1(888)829-8999 to schedule your FREE appointment. We are here to help.

 

 

RESOURCES

 

Self-Love

http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/self-love

 

A Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-hardy/201203/seven-step-prescription-self-love

 

Tips to Release Self-Neglect and Love Yourself in Action

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/21-tips-to-release-self-neglect-and-love-yourself-in-action/

 

Four Steps to Feeling Better about Yourself

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_steps_to_feeling_better_about_yourself

 

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-raise-your-self-esteem/

 

Self-Esteem Test

http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=3207

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